"You can have the rest."

Really, it's quite amazing how just those five simple little words can lift my spirits, and impact my day SO much!  Especially... when it has to do with a bag of original-flavored Sunchips!  Ah, yes....

< crunch >

I was chatting with my 7 yr.old student this afternoon as she was working on her math. The topic of what we both wanted to be when we "grew up" came about. When it came to her turn to share, she looked at me in dead earnest and promptly stated, "I want to be someone on TV who catches lizards!!" Oooh...wow.  Lizards? Yes, I have noticed her fond affection for these little reptiles. And of course, like a good teacher, I am all enthusiasm about the newest pet and friend, and therefore naturally very supportive of her dream vocation!  Yet...it still can be slightly disturbing to suddenly find one being fondly caressed in front of you during school time:

<gasp> "Oh...Um...where did this one come from? Have you had him with you the whole time? OH, wow.... he's um, a NICE one!" <gulp>  

Well folks, I guess it looks like there is potential for me to one day boast that I was once the teacher of the world-famous Lizard-Catcher!

The times you are struggling, the times you are lonely and feel the deep pangs of a hurting heart...are the times you choose to ignore God.

   Harsh, yes, but true. God is showing me so much about the choice the I have to make in life...1) to turn to Him and obtain His peace, to where all your hurts and struggles fade away...or 2) you can refuse, ignore, "forget" to turn to Him and therefore hurt, struggle, and "wither away" in the pain as long as you want to be miserable. Which way is easier to get to? Well, #2 definitely would be easier to get to...but #1 is by far the best, most rewarding, and peaceful place to be. That, once reached, was and is worth the effort it took to get there. Effort? Yes, effort. The deep one-on-one love relationship with Christ doesn’t just happen– no matter how much you read your bible, memorize, and pray for it. It’s a minute by minute decision to choose to turn to God. Not just "try," but to truly give. There’s a lot behind the word "effort." For me, it’s been so much as physically stopping everything that I am doing, dropping to my knees, and telling God once more that I want to give my hurts, pains, worries, struggles, burdens, "bad days," in exchange for living His joy that He calls us to live. Choosing to give up my dreams, desires and my ways.

    The past year of my life...I have chosen #2. I have faced numerous intense hurts and struggles, and I made, what I thought was, an effort to truly surrender to God what was going on in my heart. But to be honest, altho is sounds absurd, in our hearts we sinners like to have our pity parties, we like to feel sorry for ourselves, we like to get the attention from others around us when they see us hurting. True? Very true. I know. I’ve been there, done that, still do. And altho I hurt, I wallowed in my self-pity. I cried out to God in my pain, "why aren’t you taking this burden of my heart from me?" when I was not allowing Him to. This is an all-to-familiar scenario in our lives. A blind spot for us...a sin that we don’t see, but is very present and conflicting as we try to walk with the Lord.

How do you know when you know when you’ve truly surrendered to God? A question that I have numerous times asked myself...through my pain. But I know now. You know you have completely surrendered....when your burdens are gone. When your pain stops, when peace reigns overflowing in your heart...when you feel the Lord shoulder your burdens. When the problem may still be there...but the hurt and weight of it is gone. God is teaching me the very process of surrender, and through His grace to me, He has shown me that it’s unmistakable to know when you’ve reached that point of totall surrender and reliance on Him. When whatever is weighing on your heart ceases to weigh you down...only then have you reached it. You’ll know. Taking your hands off (any control you may have thought you had over the situation), and give them into the Lord’s hands, for him to one day give back to you...or to keep forever. Only then can God begin the healing process, the real healing process. After you've made the choice, the choice that hurts to make, but relieves when it's been made.

It all comes down to choosing to make the mental and physical effort to turn to God, not yourself or your friends, when your troubles rise around you.

Your's and mine's choice...to make the effort--to choose the pain?...or the peace.

I lay in bed last night, gazing up at the ceiling through my be-spectacled eyes and pondering this question to myself, "Why do I always leave my glasses on for at least five minutes after I've gotten into bed? Why not take them off immediately?" A question to ponder, indeed. My train of thought took me down several different and diverse paths.

First: seeing as how I do quite a bit of thinking laying there in bed, do I need my glasses to therefore mentally "see" what I’m thinking about? Hhhmm...odd yes, but I have done stranger things in the course of my life.

Second: perhaps I have a grave fascination with the ceiling, which as I sleep on a top bunk, is just mere feet from my face. But seeing as how the ceiling has remained uninterestingly the same throughout the years, (altho yes, the generations of daddy-long-legs that persistently try and begin housekeeping above my bed has changed several generations, some to natural deaths...others not-so-natural) that proposition was quickly dismissed.

Thirdly: Could it be, surely not!! Forgetfulness? *gasp!* Absurd, not at my age!

As I lay there, I was forced to admit to myself that there really is no logical and rational answer to this thought-provoking question that I had put before me. And so...with the question still floating through the mists of my brain...I reached up, removed my glasses, set then by the side of my bed...and soon fell asleep.

I DID IT!! I can not believe that I actually did it! Yes, today I made peanut-butter cookies...without burning them! It's a well-known fact within my family, that I am incapable of producing a batch of peanut-butter cookies without them being hard and black. Time and time again have I endeavored to redeem my name, to the point where I have stood next to the oven the whole time the cookies where baking, peering in through the glass window...but to no avail. Somehow, I know not how...they burned. But not today! Oh no, not today, never again! For I have redeemed my name once and for all! Oh day of joy!

Ok, people, it's official!!! I really miss Katheryn!!!

School has officially begun once more! And this year...I find myself no longer the student -- but the teacher! Today was my first day tutoring, and praise the Lord, it went very well! The three kids that I am working with are great, and were actually excited to see me, and gave me the grand tour, which included their rather large pet managerie. I petted the dogs, "ooh" about the fish, but I declined holding the turtle and slimey-looking frog-thing. Thankfully, the snake wasn't brought out on exibit for me.  Not that I'm scared or anything ...but...well, you know.

Anyway, I'm excited about what God's going to do with me and this unexpected twist to my plans for this year. Tutoring? Not what I had ever envisioned me doing. But it just goes to show once more, that God's ways are not my ways, and I know He's going to teach ME many valuable and diverse lessons over the next weeks and months, as I further delve into the work He's hand-picked for me! Oh yeah, bring it on!

While I was gone this summer, mom would periodically inform me that my bedroom that I share with 4 other siblings had been staying neat and tidy. But now that I'm home..."neat and tidy" are the last words I would use to describe my domicile. And so my question is: why has my return home spurred my siblings to become so disorganized?

Alright! Enough! I can only sit around the house and do nothing for so long!! So watch out, house, here I come! Armed with broom and scrub-brush! Bwahahah!

I am going to take my kitchen visor (required to wear while working in the kitchen at camp) and put it in a box, and I'm going to take that box and put it inside of another box, and then I'm going to mail it to myself and then... SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!! Bwahahah, brilliant!!!