September 7, 2005

• The times you are struggling, the times you are lonely and feel the deep pangs of a hurting heart...are the times you choose to ignore God.

  
  

     Harsh, yes, but true. God is showing me so much about the choice the I have to make in life...1) to turn to Him and obtain His peace, to where all your hurts and struggles fade away...or 2) you can refuse, ignore, "forget" to turn to Him and therefore hurt, struggle, and "wither away" in the pain as long as you want to be miserable. Which way is easier to get to? Well, #2 definitely would be easier to get to...but #1 is by far the best, most rewarding, and peaceful place to be. That, once reached, was and is worth the effort it took to get there. Effort? Yes, effort. The deep one-on-one love relationship with Christ doesn’t just happen– no matter how much you read your bible, memorize, and pray for it. It’s a minute by minute decision to choose to turn to God. Not just "try," but to truly give. There’s a lot behind the word "effort." For me, it’s been so much as physically stopping everything that I am doing, dropping to my knees, and telling God once more that I want to give my hurts, pains, worries, struggles, burdens, "bad days," in exchange for living His joy that He calls us to live. Choosing to give up my dreams, desires and my ways.

  
  

      The past year of my life...I have chosen #2. I have faced numerous intense hurts and struggles, and I made, what I thought was, an effort to truly surrender to God what was going on in my heart. But to be honest, altho is sounds absurd, in our hearts we sinners like to have our pity parties, we like to feel sorry for ourselves, we like to get the attention from others around us when they see us hurting. True? Very true. I know. I’ve been there, done that, still do. And altho I hurt, I wallowed in my self-pity. I cried out to God in my pain, "why aren’t you taking this burden of my heart from me?" when I was not allowing Him to. This is an all-to-familiar scenario in our lives. A blind spot for us...a sin that we don’t see, but is very present and conflicting as we try to walk with the Lord.

  
  

  How do you know when you know when you’ve truly surrendered to God? A question that I have numerous times asked myself...through my pain. But I know now. You know you have completely surrendered....when your burdens are gone. When your pain stops, when peace reigns overflowing in your heart...when you feel the Lord shoulder your burdens. When the problem may still be there...but the hurt and weight of it is gone. God is teaching me the very process of surrender, and through His grace to me, He has shown me that it’s unmistakable to know when you’ve reached that point of totall surrender and reliance on Him. When whatever is weighing on your heart ceases to weigh you down...only then have you reached it. You’ll know. Taking your hands off (any control you may have thought you had over the situation), and give them into the Lord’s hands, for him to one day give back to you...or to keep forever. Only then can God begin the healing process, the real healing process. After you've made the choice, the choice that hurts to make, but relieves when it's been made.

  
  

  It all comes down to choosing to make the mental and physical effort to turn to God, not yourself or your friends, when your troubles rise around you.

  
  

  Your's and mine's choice...to make the effort--to choose the pain?...or the peace.

  • 10:39 am
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